According to the newspaper sans editors, The New Age (ok, perhaps it has a few editors now, though that’s questionable), sports minister Fikile Mbalula collapsed during a Cabinet meeting yesterday. The alleged cause was ‘flu-like symptoms’, according to would-be Coloured-people disperser, Jimmy Manyi, government spokesperson, who added that Mbalula would be back at work today, a day after he fell down and evidently, his heart stopped.
However, SAPA claims The New Age reported that an anonymous government official at the meeting had this to say, which has got to be one of the funniest quotes I’ve read yet by a bureaucrat:
“They administered a CPR [sic] and used a defibrillator to ease his breathing before strapping him to a stretcher and wheeling him out to the hospital… “
They used a DEFIBRILLATOR to EASE his breathing?!?!
If by ‘ease his breathing’ they surely meant ‘start his failed heart’, well then, yes.
My guess is that someone who required “a CPR” and the use of a defibrillator is not all that predisposed to be back at work the next day, but let it not be said that Fikile Mbalula wastes the taxpayer’s rand.