To quote the fantastic Maria Bamford, I’ve got a lot of shit I’ve gotta not get done. The list is overwhelming and endless.
Well, actually it’s not.
It really, really isn’t.
But why let this bother me? I like to think that actually *doing* the shit that needs to get done would leave me with nothing else to do; no purpose in life; bereft of meaning and too much time to watch ETV movies from 1975.
Take today, for example. About an hour ago, I was informed that I’d accidentally locked in my domestic worker. Yes, yes, in South Africa that kind of incident can realllllly be misconstrued. At least she didn’t start singing ‘DUBUL ’IBHUNU’ at me. I seriously thought about asking her to break out using a hammer and set of pliers I have. This is despite living 10 minutes from work. You’ll be pleased to know that I dragged my sorry arse home and unlocked the door, at which point I found a none-too-impressed Rosie storming around the living area.
There’s more shit I’ve gotta not get done on my list:
1. I’ve haven’t replaced the toilet seat with a new version I bought about three weeks ago. I started doing it…oh, about three weeks ago, hit a snag when one of the bolts couldn’t be budged, and now have a half-unscrewed toilet seat that wobbles quite precariously when in use.
2. I have two prints in my room that I have meant to frame for months. The fact that the framer is about a kilometre from my home has not yet convinced me to put the prints in the car and drive them to the shop.
3. I have not RICA’d my phone yet, despite having had my green ID book in my bag for six months, as well as a rate’s bill in my car for proof-of-residence purposes. The MTN centre is 1.5km from my home.
4. I have not managed to get a quote to rip up my bathroom in order to make space for a washing machine, which I’ve not yet bought.
5. I have not removed the possessions I’ve left at my mother’s home for four years. She’s resorted to threatening me via SMS, and I’ve taken to not responding, because I have too much other shit I need to not get done.
And in a horrible fucking coincidence, the bank has *JUST* SMSed me to let me know that come 30 June, my ATM card will no longer be functional, at which point I will have to use my “existing debit or cheque card”, neither of which I have. I’ve never had one of thems. So now you all know what I will be doing on 30 June (29 June if I am really on the ball – somebody please remind me).
I would write more but there’s stuff I need to not get done now, so cheerio!