Jacuzzi a drawcard at Ivory Coast ambassador’s home

A spokesman for SA’s ambassador to the Ivory Coast says that country’s army chief is “mostly just chilling and playing Nintendo Wii’ while seeking refuge with the ambassador in Abidjan. Mdluli Saynomore told reporters that General Philippe Mangou, his wife and their five children moved into the granny cottage of Zodwa Lallie’s residence yesterday, for fear of being murdered by anti-Gbagbo forces if they stayed at their home. Mangou is apparently a ‘key ally of strongman president Laurent Gbagbo’.

Saynomore said: “General Mangou had also heard that the South African ambassador’s home has a Jacuzzi, satellite TV and a medium-sized cinema, so was quite keen to make use of the facilities.

“The kids have turned the back yard into a self-styled Adventure Boot Camp set-up so that they can remain fit while their countrymen fight for democracy,” Saynomore added.

An unnamed source close to Lallie says, however, that the ambassador is not all that pleased with her new houseguests. “She said the kids are pigs who leave chocolate papers all over the place, and she complained that they hammered their Alassane Ouattara dartboard into the ambassador’s good wall. She is not pleased, as this is interrupting her bi-weekly lawn-yoga sessions.”

It’s been rumoured that both Muammar Qadhafi and Robert Mugabe have expressed interested in absconding to Lallie’s abode, but as yet there is no hard confirmation of this.

The ambassadorial residence contains four wings containing two luxurious guest bedrooms each, as well as the aforementioned cottage. For enquiries, please contact Wendy Mechanick.


4 Responses to Jacuzzi a drawcard at Ivory Coast ambassador’s home

  1. Tamara says:

    Wahahaha… You’re too smart for me. I can’t keep up!

  2. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Would you like me to book you a stay at the ambassador’s home, Tamara? Favourable rates for you as I have an in with Mechanick.
    Oh, no, wait… what I meant to say was that I know a mechanic…her name’s Sharon. Sorry for the confusion.

  3. Charmskool says:

    HA HA I only got to read this today (4th April) so at first I thought it was genuine. I realized it was an April Fools Joke when I saw “for enquiries contact Wendy Mechanik” LOL as they say on facebook

  4. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Lol, Charm. I heard today, much to my sadness, that the general has packed up his family and left the Lallie abode (seriously). I was looking forward to more Fool’s day fodder from that quarter.

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