I hate people

It is shit like this that makes me hate most people:

From: xxx van xxx
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2011 12:39:23
To: PEOPLE WHO HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN READ YOUR FUCKING EMAILS ABOUT FUCKING CRAP PEDDLERS
Subject: FW: Jewellery, kiddies’ clothes, stationery and bits and pieces
Diarise this date!

Come and treat yourself or a loved one this Friday!

On Friday 25th March, PEDDLER OF CRAP (ex Receptionist at ***), is selling beautiful jewellery, kiddies clothes, stationery and other bits and pieces at cost price in the small boardroom at ***. She’ll be here during lunch time, from 12h00 – 14h00.
Baie dankie
MORON van DICKHEAD


Why do I get sent email like this? I don’t have a kid, i don’t want stationery and my flat needs more ‘bits and pieces’ like the Arab world needs another uprising.

And why are children called ‘kiddies’? Fucking hell, aren’t they irritating enough little aliens without having to be called ‘kiddies’?

 

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12 Responses to I hate people

  1. Woofles says:

    These emails are indeed, hell.

    They show such a dazzling lack of self insight as to be truly remarkable. I hate them. Delete immediately.

    Did you reply “NO” in size 72 font?

  2. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Hey?!!!!! I’m going to respond to the guy who sent it on behalf of the woman who sent it on behalf of the peddler herself (!) that he needs to make a new ‘All Staff’ list and leave me the hell off it.

    The worst, Woofles, the worst!

  3. Tamara says:

    See now I go mental for stationery. It’s a bit disturbing actually. Waltons is my Mecca. I’m filled with a deep sense of peace at the sight of rows upon rows of staplers, pens and filing crap.

    I’d be at the crap peddler’s event for sure.

  4. dbawiw says:

    Granted, pens are great… paper, however, is not, and I suspect (with nothing to back up my suspicion, mind you) that this woman is going to try hawk floral paper made from elephant dung.

    Mostly what I hate, though, is being given no option to NOT receive requests to support this unknown individual. Put up a notice on the notice board (in the crappy floral elephant-dung paper) if you must, but do NOT spam me.

    P.S. Will let you know if there are any good pens. 😉

  5. Charmskool says:

    hahahahaaahhaaaha aaahhaha you are so funny! Bah humbug should be the name of your blog. Hee hee I love how you grouch. I just hit the delete button and forget about it – weeeell unless it’s handbags of course….or shoes….. or clothes…. (ok I’m a salespersons delight) but I cannot stand to hear those little aliens called “kiddies” either. Everyone knows they are called chilrens!

  6. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Or ‘chillens’, Charm.

    You know what I think I should do? I think I should forward you all such correspondence from now on. Yeah, I think you’d enjoy that, if by ‘you’d’ I mean ‘I’d’. 😀

  7. Tamara says:

    Ja… not so keen on elephant dung paper. Or mass spam emails. But keep me posted on those pens 😉

  8. Black Dog says:

    I keep getting invited to participate in ‘silent auctions’, the prizes of which are spa packages and cosmetic gift hampers.

    Tell you what, office: organize hamper full of combat knives or comicbooks or a subscription to Guns’n’Ammo and I’m there. Pedicures and facial scrubs I can do without.

  9. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Awww, Tamara, you wanna know the bad news? I’m going away for the weekend, so I won’t be able to see what’s on offer! Oh no!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    Cuz Dog, at this point in time, a hamper full of combat knives would go down quite nicely for me, too. As would a pedicure, though.
    I am intrigued at the idea of a ‘silent auction’. Would you know if many people in your org. participate?

  10. Black Dog says:

    I assume not… but perhaps they are sworn to secrecy…

  11. Charmskool says:

    Dear Ms DB, I am delighted at your offer to forward all emails of a peddling nature to me at your expense.
    As I am unable to attend these sales due to a misfortune of geography I must, however, politely decline this kind attempt to include me in these purchasing opportunities at this juncture. Your most grateful reader, Charmskool.

  12. DBAWIW says:

    Sworn to secrecy lest they be forced to attend a pressed-flower sale by a receptionist who last worked at the company 15 years ago, I reckon.

    Dearest Charm S. Kool
    Regretfully, your request not to be included in such notifications of purchasing opportunities has been declined.
    We look forward to a long relationship with you in terms of being asked to buy merchandise you have no desire to own.
    Yours in peddling,
    DB a Word I Write.

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