Some more things…

24 02 11

I believe firing someone by email is in no way callous, cold-hearted, soulless”… I worked for a company that announced that fellow colleagues were now dead by email. Ok, maybe it’s a liiiiiittle mean:

BRITISH ARMY APOLOGIZES TO TROOPS FIRED BY E-MAIL

Britain’s military has apologized for using e-mails to tell several dozen long-serving soldiers that they were being laid off.

The army says an “administrative error” meant the soldiers were not told in person that their contracts would be ended.

British media reported that the soldiers were 38 warrant officers with more than 20 years’ service each. The Sun said one received the news while serving in Afghanistan.

The army apologized for the distress caused and said the soldiers had since been spoken to by their commanding officers.

Jim Murphy, defense spokesman for the opposition Labour Party, said they had been treated in a “callous, cold-hearted, soulless” way.

The military is shrinking by some 17,000 troops as part of deficit-slashing spending cuts.

 

And now, an event that rivals the drudgery of Formula 1 racing:

WORLD’S FIRST ROBOT MARATHON KICKS OFF IN JAPAN

The world’s first robot marathon is under way in western Japan, with five two-legged participants racing on an indoor track.

The race kicked off Thursday with the 1-foot (30-centimeter) -tall, battery-charged robots competing around a 110-yard (100-meter) racetrack. They will have to cover 26 miles (42 kilometers).

Japanese robot maker and event organizer Vstone Co. says the “Robo Mara Full” race in Osaka will demonstrate the machines’ durability and maneuverability.

Vstone robots took an early lead, while two entrants by Osaka University of Engineering teams got off to a shaky start. The race is expected to last through Sunday.

Vstone CEO Nobuo Yamato hopes the event will become international in the future.

 

Finally, here ya go:

NY BURGLAR SWIPES TOILET: REPORT

A New York burglar not only went to the toilet — he took it with him.

The man broke into a Brooklyn apartment and, ignoring the more typical loot, seized the porcelain throne and staggered off down the block, the Brooklyn Paper reported Wednesday.

Flush with the success of his crime, the burglar returned to the scene and told his victim, a lawyer: “I’m going to slit your throat,” the report said.

A 53-year-old suspect was arrested the next day.

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Arab leaders and being Boldly Beautiful

23 02 11

BBC World reports that Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has announced a series of housing and other benefits ahead of his return to the country after receiving treatment abroad.

You think this Arab leader is a little worried about his countrymen following the example of Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and Bahrain?

On another note, I see there was a little incident in Eastgate Shopping Centre on Monday in which three fans were hurt when they spotted three ‘Bold and the Beautiful’ actors in the centre. Apparently there was a bit of a rush forwards when the three – the actors who play Steffi, Owen and Nick – and a child suffered a  head injury while a woman in her 50s hurt her leg or summin’. My gran was working in the shopping centre at the time but was aware of nothing, sadly.

Honestly, I have heard nothing more ridiculous since I heard Gadhafi ordered his troops to violently suppress his country’s protesters. While I’ll always be a fan of the conniving and closeted-lesbian Stephanie Forrester, I think I could live quite happily and fully without getting the John Hancock of her co-stars.


Forget what you know, dear public

22 02 11

There’s a morning magazine programme on South African TV screens called Expresso every morning (yes, I am sure they thought deliberately misspelling the coffee drink would make for a hi-la-ri-ous pun), which I suppose is meant to rival the other morning show on another of the SABC’s channels.

One of the four or so hosts is minor celebrity, Michael Moll. Actually, to be more accurate, his name is DR Michael Moll, general practitioner of medicine, having achieved a medical degree in SA a number of years ago.

This morning, DR Moll had a conversation with a nutritionist (watch this clip if you’d love a great laugh about “nutritionists”) or dietitian or someone of that ilk about calcium supplementation. During the sadly scripted little item, sponsored by a vitamins manufacturer, DR Moll asked has guest about lactose intolerance, milk and how to get other sources of calcium that would not make you vomit.

DR Moll, a man who has at least seven years of  medical learning behind his name, was taking advice from a vitamin peddler whose medical knowledge, it’s quite likely, was not equal to DR Moll’s. And even if it were, why have DR Moll playing the part of the uneducated interviewer?

How disingenuous could Expresso be?! It’s been thrown down the viewing public’s collective throat for more than 10 years that the TV presenter is a doctor, and how amazing it is that he is clever, good-looking and personable.

Utterly ridiculous, though not quite as ridiculous as the new advert for chocolate hazelnut spread Nutella, which asks the public to believe that spreading sugar on your children’s toast is a great meal to feed them at breakfast; that it is nutritious; that it won’t give them a massive sugar high and make them nearly impossible to teach. I need to ask now, WTF???


Durbs

20 02 11

A weekend that includes two swims in the sea, even if much of the rest of it is spent working, is a holiday for a Jo’burg gal.

I have sand in my hair and I love it!


The Anna Nicole show

17 02 11

Anna Nicole Smith’s life as a gold digger is now an opera!

I laugh just thinking about it. Seriously. I am sitting in front of my computer suppressing a smirk. I laughed this morning when I woke up at 6.30 and shortly thereafter read news of the opera compliments of The Daily Maverick’s First Thing. On another note, I neglected to eat breakfast, zoned out and managed to get to work only at 9.15 – anybody else just seem to lose time in the morning?

Anyway, the opera includes characters whose description are just marvellous:

Old Man Marshall; The Lawyer Stern; Virgie; Larry King; Aunt Kay; Blossom; Billy; Runner (played by ZhengZhong Zhou, whose name I included because I like the sound of it); Daddy Hogan; Gentleman; Trucker; Four Lap Dancers; Four Meat Rack Girls.

I have got to see this show – I’d propose Patricia Lewis for the lead role, or Khanyi Mbau in a blonde wig.


Judging …. Schnorrers

15 02 11

Strictly speaking, the Yiddish word ‘schnorrer’ refers to a freeloader; a person who often asks for things and never offers anything in return. More colloquially, to refer to someone as being schnorrer means you believe they are cheap and ungenerous with their money and posessions.

A woman I know spent a full 15 minutes telling me about a cake she made for her son’s birthday, a couple of weeks ago. Why this was worse than the usual boring-assed tales parents feel compelled, by some satanic parently instinct, to tell unwilling people who happen to sport a pair of working ears, is because the son is around 40 years old. Just goes to show that bragging never ends, even when the bragger (braggart?) is 95 years old and doesn’t remember the name or gender of his/her grandchild, only that he/she does something super special for a living.

This woman told me how despite effectively ruining the icing for the cake she baked for her son, she refused to make another batch because she’d used six yolks, and basically that she’d be damned if she wasted the money she’d invested on those six yolks. Instead, I was forced to listen to how she extracted large globules of god knows what from the mess she’d made, added sugar,  a couple of horse flies and a few drops of ylang ylang (ok, perhaps not the latter two ingredients), iced the cake and delivered it to her beloved son.

Story doesn’t end there, though. A week after that, again I was told that she had to make a dessert for a friend of hers – a fate worse, for her, than an afternoon having to listen to Steve Hofmeyr talk about U2, I’d imagine. I was then informed that she would make meringue because it would allow her to use the six egg whites she’d kept after the icing balls-up, a week prior.

She’d kept six mouldy egg whites for more than a week. And if she hadn’t found cause to use them that day, I suspect they would have remained for another week. Omelette, anyone?

WTF?!! Seriously, how do people like this have friends? How do they not die of food contamination? How does she eat a chicken for an entire week, simply because she bought a whole chicken, without tiring of  it?

I’ll bet this person takes home what’s left of the dessert she’s prepared for her friends, too. She’s gotta eat, right?

 


‘Black Swan’ for Dummies

14 02 11

I was going to give a review of ‘Black Swan’ but when I came across this, I knew I would never be able to give as concise and hilarious a representation as this dude did.