They said what?

I heard a LOT of shit these past few days. In a most unsurprising disclosure, the bulk of the shit I’ve heard has been at the workplace, and include the following:

This woman, who helps out at my workplace: Oh, I just reread my old books because new books are too expensive.

One colleague to another: OK, well, when she gets here on Monday morning, I’ll talk to her and save her marriage.

Boss: Here’s a Christmas card we’re signing for my daughter who’s overseas being an au pair. Oh wait, you haven’t met her, right?

Me: No, I haven’t

Boss: Ah well, just write a note anyway

Receptionist at a travel clinic on the phone to someone: “Well, an adult is an adult and a child is a child.”

Young woman to her colleague: I can climb Kilimanjaro in old sneakers, right?

Me to insurance broker: I want to take out household contents insurance

Broker: You can’t until February next year.

Me: Why not?

Broker: Because you could be trying to defraud us.

However, among the above-mentioned rubbish, I have heard some wonderfully witty repartee compliments of ‘The West Wing’, which I am only watching now for the first time:

Toby: There’s literally no one in the world that I don’t hate right now.

CJ (after a particularly difficult press briefing, while the journalists are still inside): Set fire to the room. Do it now.

Charlie: Mr. President?

Bartlet: I’ll take the Indian ambassador in the Oval Office.

Charlie: Yes, sir.

Bartlet: And then if you could just ask the Secret Service to step in and kill me, please.

Charlie: Yes, sir.

Mrs Landingham: How are you, Josh?

Josh: I’ve been subpoenaed.

Mrs Landingham: Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Would you like a cookie?

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2 Responses to They said what?

  1. Charmskool says:

    Ha ha hilarious – don’t know which one is my favourite. The only unfunny one is the insurance broker – how RUDE! I am an insurance broker and I’d never say that to you. However, NO insurance company will give cover from now until 31st January for THEFT/BURGLARY cover for NEW clients UNLESS you have existing household contents cover and are just changing companies. This is because soooo many people take out insurance at this time of year and then go on holiday, leaving their houses to be burgled. Their claims get paid and they cancel their insurance till next year this time – now that’s not exactly fraud is it? And then there are the few who finance their Christmas spending/holidays by having a convenient burglary around this time and take out insurance just before the relevant period. That is just a teensy bit upsetting for insurers and brokers alike. Just saying…….

  2. Anonymous says:

    I shoulda phoned you, Charm. I am sure you would have been able to make me feel like I was a desired (future) client without being a potential thief/fraudster.
    Oh well, I’ll just buy a shotgun instead and sit on a dining room chair, aiming my ‘insurance policy’ at the front door, in order to deter burglars (and unwanted guests).

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