- Call yourself Netcare St Augustines Hospital
- Perform more than 100 illegal kidney transplant operations at the hospital, having paid poor Brazilians for their organs.
- Get found out
- Deny, deny and furiously deny for around seven years that your CEO was aware of this illegal, deplorable practice at said hospital
- Fire those who performed the illegal kidney transplants while still denying knowledge of any wrongdoing
- Have charges against you dropped after finally admitting that your CEO knew about these transplants, which brought the company millions of rand
- Strike a deal with prosecutors allowing you, Netcare, to pay just under R8-million for the crimes, bearing in mind that Netcare is an hugely successful, large multinational hospital group that is probably doubled over laughing right now at drop in the ocean that is this fine.
- Release a statement saying that you “regret” that illegal kidney transplants took place, and that it should never be allowed to happen again
- Continue acting the part of the unfairly charged and good corporate citizen, while continuing to be an arrogant, duplicitous, mercenary parasite of an organisation.