I attended a bookclub meeting comprising five of the total seven members this morning. One claimed she had too much work to finish and thus had to bow out … a pitiful excuse, I maintain, while the other…hmmm, I am actually not sure why the other wasn’t present. In any event, a few new things emerged from the meeting, which will be noted for possible future reference:
- Another member is pregnant, again, bringing the total number of pregnant members to two and the total amount of pregancy-speak to around 40 minutes. This was tolerable in that I spent those 40 minutes chanting “croissant, croissant, croissant” in a low voice to myself. If, however, another member gets preggers in the next short while, I may have to call for a constitutional amendment (of the bookclub’s rigid, demanding and unwaivering constitution) barring any willful impregnation of members, and 30 lashes and being forced to read a Paulo Cuelho novel as punishment if a member announces herself to be up the pole.
- The husband of the first of the pregnant member wishes to name the foetus Rex. Despite being told that Rex is a suitable name for a dog, not a human being, said husband seems intent of this. Henceforth, we shall whistle for said member’s future infant, instead of calling him, civilised-like.
- We are apparently donating our older books, which allegedly should have been read by most of us, but really probably have been read by only one member, a.k.a the nerd. The nerd suggested Sterkfontein Psychiatric Hospital be the recipient of the books; a suggestion that was roundly supported, culminating in one member exclaiming, “The mentally ill enjoy reading, too!” She did, however, then remove ‘Smacked’ from that pile.
- One member proclaimed that the two weeks he spent at home recovering from hepatitis were the best weeks of his year thus far. This was not meant as an indictment on the quality of his year prior to that, mind you. Hepatitis apparently rocks.
- Aubergine dip on a nectarine is apparently a tasty treat
- Being asked one’s star sign and if one is close to one’s mother is apparently not an appropriate line of questioning in a standard job interview.
Next month, I host the meeting. I hope to have started reading a book by then … any book… but I suspect I will just while away evenings chanting “croissant, croissant, croissant, croissant, croissant….” instead.