I learnt today that a woman I vaguely know is attending a bachellorette party tomorrow that involves a lap-dancing lesson and a trip to Tease-Hers, a strip club for females featuring nude males.
Doesn’t that sound FUN, girls and boys?
How stupendously *awesome* it must be to:
a) Spend an afternoon/evening with mothers, aunts, grannies and people you are likely to barely know,
b) Do so while learning how to grind your arse and other nether bits effectively into a man’s lap and face.
When the hell did this become something people do as a group activity, for a party? Agh, I can’t even wrap my head around the alleged fun of taking a pole dancing lesson, for any reason, let alone because it is a bachelorette party, which demands an accepted level of cheekiness and risque behaviour before it’s considered a pah-tay!
The idea that I might be cajoled into learning how to administer a lap dance to some poor bloke is so absurd and sickening that it’s laughable. The individual I mentioned who is going to have to struggle through this ordeal said, “I was told to deposit a crazy amount of money in the party organiser’s account, and this doesn’t include food.”
Screeeeee! This is why these parties are the worst. Brides-to-be, listen up…NO-ONE WANTS TO BE FORCED INTO DOING THIS SHIT. If someone wants to learn how to lap dance, she can organise lessons for herself.
A good time is NOT watching nerdy Katie, obsessed with her own amazing sexiness, giggling and riggling her rhythmless vagina to “When I think about you I touch myself.”