More on the bachelorette party

I learnt today that a woman I vaguely know is attending a bachellorette party tomorrow that involves a lap-dancing lesson and a trip to Tease-Hers, a strip club for females featuring nude males.

Doesn’t that sound FUN, girls and boys?

How stupendously *awesome* it must be to:

a) Spend an afternoon/evening with mothers, aunts, grannies and people you are likely to barely know,

b) Do so while learning how to grind your arse and other nether bits effectively into a man’s lap and face.

When the hell did this become something people do as a group activity, for a party? Agh, I can’t even wrap my head around the alleged fun of taking a pole dancing lesson, for any reason, let alone because it is a bachelorette party, which demands an accepted level of cheekiness and risque behaviour before it’s considered a pah-tay!

The idea that I might be cajoled into learning how to administer a lap dance to some poor bloke is so absurd and sickening that it’s laughable. The individual I mentioned who is going to have to struggle through this ordeal said, “I was told to deposit a crazy amount of money in the party organiser’s account, and this doesn’t include food.”

Screeeeee! This is why these parties are the worst. Brides-to-be, listen up…NO-ONE WANTS TO BE FORCED INTO DOING THIS SHIT. If someone wants to learn how to lap dance, she can organise lessons for herself.

A good time is NOT watching nerdy Katie, obsessed with her own amazing sexiness, giggling and riggling her rhythmless vagina to “When I think about you I touch myself.”

 

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4 Responses to More on the bachelorette party

  1. Woof says:

    Bachelor and bachelorette parties are, without a doubt, the lamest shit ever. I just always think it is a barely-concealed reason to grab more presents and attention. I couldn’t agree more – brides, noone CARES!

  2. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    I think brides should give all those who attend their awful me-fests a present jkust for putting up with the horror.

  3. Charmskool says:

    So this is what the Women’s Liberation movement went through so much trouble for? NOT! I just don’t attend these idiotic bachelorette parties. If the bride wants a gift from me for getting married, in addition to her wedding gift, she had better feed me well and entertain me even better. Bah humbug!

  4. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    I’m going to try my level best not to go to another bachelorette party again. I’ll let you know how that goes.

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