What’s behind your couch?

When I check under or behind my couches, ostensibly for something I’ve lost such as a book, TV remote or my marbles, I consider finding a few R5 coins and a couple of hair bands a pretty good haul. It kind of pales in comparison to the genuine Michelangelo painting an American found behind his couch. Yes, he’d put it there 25 years ago, wrapped up carefully after a tennis ball knocked it off the wall. Still, he didn’t suspect it was anything other than a pretty picture until he had a look at it and investigated its possible  value.

It’s worth £190m. Not exactly pocket change.

I’ve heard stories about South Africans finding Kruger Rands stashed in light switches, having been left behind by the house’s previous owners. All I found was an undrinkable bottle of violently green alcohol, left behind on purpose, I’d wager, and a potplant that looked like it was knocking on death’s door. Remarkably, despite my best efforts to ignore it, it has survived, which is more than I can say for any tomato or chilli plant I’ve tried to grow.

I’m quite upset that there’s nothing of obvious financial worth hanging on my family’s walls that could be passed down to me. My mother’s home is decorated mostly with paintings by my sister and other friends and family. Pretty as they are, they ain’t worth much moolah.

Bah! I’m going home to drink that green stuff tonight.


5 Responses to What’s behind your couch?

  1. Charmskool says:

    The only thing I ever find behind my couch is my big red dog. And the occasional hoof (partially masticated) that he’s hidden there. When I was married I used to find a really good haul of R5 and R2 coins that had dropped out of my husband’s pockets – but that was between the cushions. And yes, I did keep every single cent.

  2. Dbawiw says:

    I wasn’t even going to ask, Charm. I believe that what one finds between the couch cushions is fair game. Most often, however, I just find wads of my hair. Mooi, ne?

  3. Tamara says:

    There’s nothing behind my couch. But underneath it… beads, dead moths, elastic bands and anything else my cats have decided to play with and then stow there.

  4. Dbawiw says:

    Blaming the cats, eh, Tamara? I’ll bet you blame them when you fart, too. 😉

  5. hardspear says:

    The usual shtuff, remotes, glasses (drinking & vision). Definitely no Renaissance paintings. I have a painting in our store room which I got from my Grandmother though. It was painted by an Italian POW in the 2nd World War (yes there were Italian POW camps right here in SA). I love it, but my wife hates it. It is sort of a hyper-real, but way out of proportion & fucked up dimension landscape picture featuring a castle. Maybe I should have it appraised.

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