Holi-daaaayyyyy

Brown Mutt and I toddled off to Umhlanga for a wee four-day break during which we unwound, went to the beach, slept, ate, talked about boys, talked about dinosaurs, got career and love advice from a tarot card reader, got a pedicure, watched movies and exercised.

Let no-one accuse us of not thinking on holiday. There was a lot of thinking. So very much of thinking. These were some of the things we thought about during the mini-vay-kay:

  • Brontosaurus was really just a massive joke perpetrated by a egomaniacal scientist who shoved the skull of a different species onto a completely different dinosaur (the Apatosaurus), in order to prove his ‘new’ discovery. Oh, and there’s a dinosaur called a Supersaurus, which pleases me immensely.
  • Brown Mutt was a horse in her previous life. She has this in common with that British singer, Leona Lewis, it’s reported.
  • I am apparently going to have a daughter, a son and a cat. I am not, however, going to meet a man at all next year but am going to have these children within the next three years.  Since these children are not twins, I’m assuming, and I’m not meeting *anyone* romantically next year, and I will have had both these kids by September 2013 (three years), this means that I am apparently going to meet someone between   January 2012 and March 2012, and be impregnated by him during that time. Almost immediately after my first sprog is born, I shall be preggers again. It’s great to know that I will have come know the father/s of my children deeply and meaningfully before I am up the pole.
  • My sister is going to be nothing but a lazy housewife who will entertain. Having witnessed my sister’s cooking skills, I can only hope she’ll have these soirees catered.
  • No-one snores worse than the hound’s mother, apparently.
  • A room temperature of 23 degrees Celcius can, under NO circumstances, be considered air conditioning.
  • Ridge in ‘The Bold and The Beautiful’ has been married about 10 times to three women.
  • ‘Joseph and his Amazing Techicolour Dreamcoat’ is the best musical everrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

PS. Happy birthday, my favourite colourful canine. May your 32cnd year be full of happiness and serenity, and mostly, FUN!!!

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14 Responses to Holi-daaaayyyyy

  1. Do not laugh so fast! I have in fact met people who have been honoured with that exact fortune!

    They met, having a bit of a fling, nothing serious, next thing she was pregnant, so he stuck around, and RIGHT AFTER she popped out this surprise baby, and while they were flinging a bit more again, she got pregnant AGAIN! I think they are now married. With two kids they damn well better be! Ha!

  2. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Good grief.
    I think that’s just ruined my day, C Heathen.
    Flinging is great … 2 x pregnancies and babies are not.
    Oi vey!!!

  3. Charmskool says:

    A psychic clairvoyant tarot card reader once told me that I would have 3 children. As at the time I had had a hysterectomy and only had one child this seemed a little unlikely. I asked if these would perhaps be adopted/step/grandchildren. Said seer advised me NOOOO they would be biologically mine. Hmmm I wonder how much You magazine are going to pay me for my story when I have these children.

  4. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Perhaps those two unborn foetuses are nesting in the spacious area in your abdomen resulting from the removal of your uterus? Contact YOU Magazine now and tell them that either way, they want your story. And give the foetuses names, like Charles and Camilla, or Joost and Amore.

  5. cuz g from oz says:

    My mother had a “psychic” maid who prophecised that I was to be siamese twin girls. Ummm, not quite.

  6. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Well, you *are* quite pretty, Cuz.
    Ya, you’d think these soothsayers would attempt prophecies that stand more than a one in 200 000 chance of coming true.
    Then again, kudos to your mom’s maid for going all out.
    Aunty R, did you giggle, fire her or cry until my cuz’s birth?

    • Anonymous says:

      N 1, we are on holiday in the us of a and I decided I need a sit down so I’m ichecking emails and your blog which I hadn’t seen for weeks. Just realised i don’t have your email address since you changed jobs. PUleeeze email me
      Aunt R

  7. Brown Mutt says:

    Thank you for my birthday wishes you adorable little thing! And for the holiday which was, sadly, the best thing ever and made life in Joburg seem a bit sucky. 😦 Let’s do it again please!!!

  8. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    A beeeg pleasure, dear Mutt.
    Yes, let’s!
    Joburg has no beach. This is extremely wrong and I blame my parents for situating me here.

  9. Brown Mutt says:

    Joburg has no beach, but Cape Town has no real economy.

    It’s a toss up.

  10. Tamara says:

    Supersaurus? AWESOME! So naming my next pet that.

    @Brown Mutt: too true, unfortunately. But at this stage in the year, my heart wants beach more than economy. Man, I miss CT in spring. Happy belated, btw.

  11. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    But it has bergies, and bergies are hot!!!!

    Isn’t Supersaurus just marvy?! I hope your next pet is a snake.

  12. Tamara says:

    Some of the most enlightening conversations I’ve ever had were with bergies. Who knew a drunken grunt could say so much?

    Me too. Doubt my pansy cats would agree.

  13. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Hahaha, haven’t we all known drunken grunts? Though,yes, the ones we’ve known were probably just saying things like, ‘you remind me of my ma, wanna kiss?’

    Don’t ever forget – your cats are the lords of your manor.

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