Collegial bonding

Yesterday I was polite to a colleague and, as a result, today I’ve been subjected to a half-hour lecture on Canada and given three other books on Germany, Sweden and Switzerland to look through.


Never again should I express interest in this man’s travels.

So much of “I went here and I went there” and so little of “Have you travelled?” and “Where have you been?”

His near obsession with the Land of Eh? rivals another associate (somewhere between friend and acquaintance, closer to the acquaintance side of the spectrum) of mine who, in essence, loves the place because “It works, and people mean it when they ask you how you are.”

Well then, off to Canada with you, I say. I feel for the ego that takes it to heart when he realises that the Spar cashier doesn’t actually mean it when she inquires after your mental and physical wellbeing.

This same individual sent an email today relating to a braai she and her husband are having this weekend to celebrate spring.

Now stay with me here people, it might get confusing –  she asked *me* to lunch at her house. The email, however, demanded that I bring meat, drinks and either rolls, a potato something or other, a salad, snacks or a dessert.

Just in case I lost you, *I* am bringing *my entire meal with me* to *her* house.

I must say, I was pretty convinced her wedding was going to be a ‘bring and braai’ affair, and since it was not, perhaps this is payback?


11 Responses to Collegial bonding

  1. Louisa says:

    😆 You should ask if you can pick anything up for them too before you go, you know – like bread, milk or toilet paper?

  2. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Perhaps I can offer to manage the actual braai, and clean up everything afterwards, too?

  3. Charmskool says:

    Don’t forget to take along some dishwashing liquid to wash the dishes (I assume that she will provide these) also napkins, wood, tinfoil (for the baking of the potatoes that you will be bringing with you) and salad dressing, salt, pepper, all other required condiments – meh why don’t you just stay home and have your own braai.

  4. Brown Mutt says:

    Screw her. How rude!

  5. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    HAHAHAHAHAH, Charm…. Your suggestion to bring wood and dishwashing liquid with had me hooting!

    Fortunately, it’s Yom Kippur, so I have a great excuse not to go. Jesus, I’ve just said *fortunately* I’ll NOT be eating and drinking…what is WRONG with me?!!! Good luck with it, dude.

    Brown Mutt…ahahahahh, I love your name. And no, screwing her would be too good for her.

  6. Tamara says:

    I totally get the bring and braai concept of “you bring meat and booze, we’ll provide everything else”, especially if you’re having loads of people. But “you bring meat, booze, everything else and we’ll just provide standing space and possibly fire” is a bit beyond me.

    Don’t screw her. Screw Canada. For Celine Dion, Bryan Adams, aboot and various other ills. Although… they do have maple syrup. That’s redeeming, I guess.

  7. Brown Mutt says:

    And mooses!

  8. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Aboot!!!! Horrid!!!
    I reckon my associate is one idea away from charging for standing space.

    Brown Mutt (ha ha, sorry)…are mooses redeeming features or Canada, or are they worth screwing Canada over for?

  9. cuz g from oz says:

    Mooses are definately a redeeming feature. Hooray for mooses (and mongooses, who have nothing to do with

  10. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Ah Cuz G, I wondered if talk of moose might encourage you to defend their honour. Moose are almost as sweet as meese.

  11. cuz g from oz says:

    Even sweeter when made from chocolate, as previously mentioned. Mmmmm, chocolate moose!!!

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