Today’s top five news stories

Lots of news has piqued my attention today. I am too lazy to give you proper sources, so suffice it to say that they came mostly from Reuters, SAPA and Sky.

  1. The German Communist party gave six year old kids pens that ‘could project erotic images of women’ instead of sweets, on their first day of school. Such an easy mistake to make, I’ve found. I regularly buy pens featuring naked women instead of lollipops.
  2. A founding member of band ELO was been killed in a freak accident when a giant bale of hay crushed his van.  Mike Edwards was driving along the side of a steep field when the 600kg bale smashed through a hedge and landed on the roof of his vehicle. The photo of a disputed bale of hay (some of the comments alleged the photos was of a bale of straw) accompanying the story was the best part of the article. Menacing-looking bale sittin’ in a field… being menacing.
  3. A Finnish doctor has been accused of molestation after he sucked a woman’s nipple in order to taste the fluid that escaped from her breast during an ultrasound examination, to diagnose a medical problem. Next thing you know, he’ll be examining her uterus with his penis. Medicine is full of ingenuity.
  4. Taiwanese authorities are going to give low-income families 5000 Taiwan dollars per month for baby-sitting charges for each child until the child turns two, in order encourage people to have more babies. If they did that here, I might see a friend (now probably more an acquaintance) who I see on average three times a year because of alleged baby-sitting problems.
  5. A 21-year-old bloke from the Eastern Cape has won the International Driver of the Year Competition, which was held in Austria. Yes. A South African driver *won* a *driving* competition. Words now fail me.

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