SA musos to offer a presidential candidate in 2014

PRESS RELEASE

6 AUG 2010

SA musos to offer a presidential candidate in 2014

A small group of the cream of South Africa’s musicians met at an unnamed and undisclosed but extremely cool Sandton coffee shop yesterday to discuss the possibility of one of them running for president of the republic in the 2014 elections.

This follows hip-hop star Wyclef Jean’s announcement that he will run for president of Haiti, where he was born.

Jean, who lives in the US, arrived in Haiti yesterday in his private jet and was met by a local urchin choir singing the musician tune, ‘If I was president’, while drumming on coffee tins supplied by actor Sean Penn’s aid mission.

In Sandton, Kahn Morbee from The Parlotones, Ninja and Yo-landi Vi$$er, from Die Antwoord, Gerhard Steyn, of ‘Baby Tjoklits’ fame and Bianca la Grange met to discuss who of them would best represent the interests of the South African public and who would be able to handle the pressures arising from holding the highest office of the land.

Morbee maintained that because his band had played for ANC Youth League president, Julius Malema, at a couple of private occasions, and Malema had asked him for eye make-up tips, Morbee was naturally a leader the South African public could relate to and emulate.

“Fok julle poese,” Yo-landi was heard to mutter, as she left the super-trendy coffee shop, the walls of which featured black-and-white prints of homeless people looking pensive on Camp’s Bay beach.

Steyn treated patrons to an acapella version of his popular ‘tjoklits’ ditty as a waitress brought him a hot chocolate .

Le Grange announced that she knew five languages, including some Russian and a little-known ethnic Inuit language, which would facilitate improved business and trade relations between South Africa and the Baltic region, and with a small, quinoa-harvesting village in the north west of South America.

At this stage, it is speculated that Ninja is the most likely candidate owing to his super-mysterious seeming personality and many tattoos, one of which is rumoured to say, “Nkosi, ons vir jou, fokkity fok”.

The four made a nationwide call for musicians to ‘stand up and be counted as the future politicians of SA’. They’ve affectionately named themselves ‘Musicians for President’ (MUP), or the MUPpets.

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3 Responses to SA musos to offer a presidential candidate in 2014

  1. Tamara says:

    I will be interested to see if Wyclef gets any support or if the poor people of Haiti will view him in the same light as Sean Penn does.

  2. Charmskool says:

    My friend has a dog called Muppet – I think she meets all the criteria for president – who do I contact to put her forward as a candidate?

  3. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Tamara, I’d be interested to observe a fist-fight between Jean and Penn. Money’s on Madge’s ex
    .
    Charm, can the hound play the harp? If so, it’s a shoo-in!

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