Vaguely medical research

AFP is running a story which gravely warns that The Simpsons may promote smoking by showing it in so many episodes. Coincidentally, I watched about four episodes of the TV series last night, and this morning I very nearly joined my colleagues for a smoke break. Oh no, wait…that’s not true; I just ate breakfast as usual. SEE HOW CLOSE I WAS TO JOINING THE RANKS OF THE SMOKERS?!?!

Perhaps this is of interest to protective parents and evangelicals. What is of interest to ME is that this Australian researcher  – public health specialist Guy Eslick – managed to convince whoever was involved, that this would be a valuable way to spend scientific research AUS dollars, and that the  Medical Journal of Australia elected to publish the results.

I imagine Eslick, after deciding that he wanted to watch 18 seasons of The Simpsons instead of working, might have applied for funding in the following way:

Eslick: Leesten, Oi’m a beeet taa-yerd of working for a leeving. Oi’d rather be watching 400 episodes of The Simpsons and get paid for that instead. How about you pay me to do that?

Funder: Erm, listen Eslick, I have lots of cash to throw at you, but you have to come up with something vaguely measurable for me to justify this to the Board. What about the incidence and prevalence of blue hair in the show, and how it has spawned a new generation of Punk? 

Eslick: Naaaa, mate, that’s just seelly.

Funder: Alright, well, how about the soaring costs of orthodontic treatment as a result of mimickry of the Simpson overbite?

Eslick: Mate!! Oi’ve got it! You know what the University of Seedney hasn’t concentrated on in a whoile? Smoking!!! Yeah, that’s perfect!

Funder: Super! Alright, I’ll organise petty cash to give you enough to buy 400 episodes and100 bags of microwave popcorn for your, ahem, research.

Eslick: Don’t forget lollies. See you in a few months, bye!

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6 Responses to Vaguely medical research

  1. […] Read more: Vaguely medical research […]

  2. Charmskool says:

    I need to catch up on missed episodes of Dexter – think I could get someone to fund my study to prove that watching Dexter will turn you into a red-headed psychopath who only kills baddies?

  3. Jason says:

    I think you are confusing the Australian accent with a German one, Cousin Hair…

    Then again, Eslick is from Sydney.

    — JF

  4. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    Of course you could, Charmskool. Why are you not applying for funding from the University of Sydney right now?? It’s a shoo-in!

    Jase, in Seth Effrica, Eslick would be called Arse-lick.

  5. Aaah, those Aussie are clever little bastards. Do you think that guy needs an assistant! We can next explore Seinfeld and…maar fok… there would be some beautiful research right there. Discrimination to postmen at the very least. Hmm. That was a crap example. Sorry. But I am unemployed & so no longer need to use my brain 🙂

  6. Don't Believe a Word I Write says:

    hehe, I think you’d make a great assistant to Mr/Dr/Prof Arse-lick. You’d have to fetch snacks and write down everytime he said “look, a cigarette!!”…could you handle that, C. Heathen?

    I like the example of fostering discrimination towards postmen. In fact, when I was in New York, I felt an almost overwhelming urge to say “Hellllllo Newman!” and snarl at every postal worker I saw. I blame it squarely on Seinfeld.

    On another note…you had to use your brain at work? Heavens, they were working you too hard, dude!

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